Anno Zombus Year 1 (Book 1): January Read online

  Kindly Lady came over once again as soon as Fat Dealer had been seen to and recovered enough to tell his tale. Apparently he had just finished his rounds of the local farms, and was saying goodbye to his final customer when a couple of Dead ones had surprised them, tearing out the throat of his buyer as Fat Dealer dove for his Ute. A couple of the other farmers had told him of strange events they had seen on the news over the last several days, but of course he hadn't really believed them then. Had it not been for that foreknowledge, his reactions may not have been so swift, but as it was he suffered a massive asthma attack during the drive and had barely made it back alive as a result. Kindly Lady offered an apology on behalf of the entire commune and offered us a place for as long as we needed it, provided we help out and follow the rules. I suggested that it might be a good idea to build a wall of some kind around the commune. Kindly Lady nodded sagely, saying that she had been thinking the very thing. She clapped her hands and called for a gathering, then tasked Fat Dealer with showing Apocalypse Girl and I to our room, apologising for us having to share. We shared a glance, then grabbed our backpacks and followed him into the barn, which it turned out was in fact more of a house, almost an apartment complex really, with three floors, several rooms on each floor and a large common room at one end. The room we were allocated had an exit leading to a kind of balcony structure on the roof of the barn. This could work, I began thinking, we can turn this place into a fucking fortress.

  January 4th Year 1 A.Z.

  dawn

  Slept like a log after taking first watch, Apocalypse Girl and I don't entirely trust these hippies yet. Nothing eventful since last night, but as soon as the sun came up Fat Dealer knocked on the door saying he was going to get a crew together to cut down some trees and start making some kind of defences. Apocalypse Girl said she wanted to get to know the people here before deciding if we stay or not, but suggested I go along with Fat Dealer and his mob. Hope they at least feed us breakfast first!

  mid-morning

  Fat Dealer is a fucking slave driver! There are ten of us, all told, doing the work, and we have already cleared every tree within view. Taking a quick drink/snack/smoke break now, good time to point out these people work really fucking well together. They seem friendly enough, too, but clearly a bit wary of newcomers. Who can blame them with the Dead wandering around eating everyone? Back to work now...

  noon

  Turns out Fat Dealer used to be in construction. So he knows how to build a wall fairly well. Only a fairly simply log wall for now, but he is already talking about making a clay brick wall, as there is a river nearby and clay is abundant. Another guy is talking about making bows and arrows from some of the smaller pieces we have lying around. We've all taken to carrying around at the very least a decent sized stick in case any Dead show up, so far nothing, but we are keeping an eye out. The girls who had brought water and blankets last night came out with food for us, turns out they're twins. Fat Dealer wanted to know what I was writing about, so I told him. He thinks recording the end of the world is a little pointless. Not entirely sure I disagree to be honest! But it's something to do...and I do feel I need to do this. This mess of omelette The Twins brought out is fucking tasty...worth staying here for the food alone!

  evening

  Finally done for the day. We've got a workable wall now, not very high, but enough to slow them down. Kindly Lady thanked me for my input last night, and for helping with the wall today, so I thanked her in turn for feeding housing and clothing a pair of possibly insane blood covered strangers. She smiled and said “I still don't know you're not insane, you know. Besides, you two needed help,” and walked away. I spotted Apocalypse Girl and went over to see how she was doing. Turns out Kindly Lady had been interrogating her all day, and she had been given a stern talking to about hiding the fact that she carried a gun. She was allowed to keep it, naturally, but not to carry it around with her. So she resolved to stay as close to the barn, and our room, as she could possibly manage. The good thing was these hippies seemed to have a good sense of personal space and privacy. Nobody would ever think about going into somebody else's room uninvited, or about stealing from anyone else. Everyone shared what they had and the entire group benefited from it.

  We sat around in a large circle as we ate a communal dinner together. Someone suggested the idea that tomorrow we should go around to the local farms, make sure the people are alright, and offer them and their livestock shelter until the Dead situation is resolved. Kindly Lady nodded and said “I was thinking that exact thing. We must offer help to our neighbours. And if we don't have any neighbours left, we must see to their animals.” Fat Dealer rolled a suitably massive joint, sparked it up, took several deep draws, and passed it on to his left. He then volunteered to drive a few people around to the farms in the morning. The man who had suggested bows and arrows, Archer as I thought of him, said that he planned to begin with that tomorrow also. I said that I would patrol the perimeter of the fence to make sure that it was still sound, and to handle any Dead that may have found us. The Twins suggested that they begin collecting clay for bricks for our second wall. Apocalypse Girl offered to guard them, as she has the gun. I told her to take the crowbar too, as I now had The Bommyknocker, a small tree branch I had found, slightly longer than my forearm, with a nicely bulbous end that was satisfyingly solid. I will admit to myself that I was actually quite looking forward to seeing it in action.

  January 5th Year 1 A.Z.

  dawn

  Apocalypse Girl and I kept our watches again last night, and were promptly awoken at dawn once more. Turns out if you volunteer for a task in this place you're expected to fucking do it! Not that I had any intention of shirking my patrol, far from it. I probably understand better than the rest of the people here how important security from the Dead is. Most of the people here haven't had to deal with the Dead yet. As I made my way downstairs I met an eager young lad who wanted to come with me on my patrol. On that note...

  mid-morning

  Junior and I made our first round of the fence without incident. We passed by the shed in which Archer had set up shop to churn out some weaponry to find him testing the draw on his very first prototype. He held up a lone arrow, showing it to us, saying “Test model!” and knocked it to the string. He drew the arrow back and sent it flying into a tree stump about fifty metres away. I smiled, clapped him on the back in congratulations, and we moved onwards. Junior said in a low voice as we left “I hope that's the stump he was aiming for!” and I chuckled. As we passed by the main barn Kindly Lady called out to offer us some tea.

  noonish

  Midway through our second patrol of the day, we heard a gunshot from the direction of the river. Junior and I bolted over, fast as our legs could carry us, seeing Archer running out from his shed, bow in one hand, several freshly made arrows in the other. Another shot rang out from ahead of us, and as we neared we encountered a terrible sight. Apocalypse Girl was jamming the barrel of her gun up under the chin of the Dead trying to eat her, and she pulled the trigger sending the thing's brains showering outward in rather a spectacular display the likes of which I hadn't seen since...well, nearly a week ago. Felt much longer than that. There were several more Dead ones moving towards her, and she raised her gun once again to fire. Junior and I continued running towards her as she pulled the trigger. Nothing. She pulled it again, with the same result. Three Dead ones approaching her, one far too close for Junior and I to save her. She threw the gun at the nearest Dead, hitting it in the torso to no effect. Tried to turn, but her shoes had caught fast in the clay and she fell as an arrow came out of nowhere to neatly bloom in the forehead of the now falling Dead.

  Junior and I arrived before the other two could get near her, Junior clubbing one over the head, knocking it down, as The Bommyknocker connected with the skull of the other. After several whacks the Dead were dead, heads splayed open for all the world to see. Another arrow flew out to impale another Dead head, one of a group huddled around
something writhing. A hand flapped out from the pile, still twitching. Junior rushed into the fray, and I followed him. We cleared the remaining Dead from the writhing mess only to learn that the hand belonged to one of The Twins, both of whom were at the bottom of a pile of Dead. We pulled corpse after corpse from them to discover that one still lived. One Twin was a ravaged, torn, bloody mess of ragged flesh, yet the other was barely even bloodied. Junior dragged the dead girl from the living, who whimpered as I examined her for bite marks. Amazingly, she was bite free, but scared shitless. I looked up to Junior just in time to see the crowbar I had told Apocalypse Girl to take with her swing down and bury itself deep inside the skull of the dead Twin. Apocalypse Girl and I made sure that the Living Twin safely made it back to the barn while Junior and Archer took over the patrol.

  evening

  Kindly Lady exited The Twin's room and told us that she was fine, just sleeping. Junior had come back in as the sun was setting to let me know that there was no other activity on the perimeter. The poor kid looked like shit, but then this was the first time he had seen someone he grew up with torn to pieces and eaten before his eyes. Fat Dealer had returned a few hours before with no news of any surviving farmers, though some of the houses had been clearly carefully evacuated. He did however secure several cows, a bull and a bakers dozen of sheep. The people he had gone out with had arranged for transport for the animals and arrived no more than two hours after he did. Everybody was in a foul mood because of the loss of the Twin. Apparently they had arrived with their parents when they were babies and had grown up on the commune. Their parents died and left them there to be raised by Kindly Lady when they were very young. Everyone knew and loved them, and now one had died in the most brutal fashion imaginable.

  At dinner nobody spoke. The remaining Twin had come downstairs to eat, and received such an outpouring of sympathy that she burst into tears and very nearly ran back to bed, but Kindly Lady took her into her arms and sat with her while she ate. Everyone present, after the meal, with the customary dessert joint, said something about the dead Twin. The saddest part was when it came to my own and Apocalypse Girl's turns. All I could say was that I wished I had more time to have gotten to know her better. All Apocalypse Girl could say was “I'm sorry I had to put a crowbar into her skull.” bitterly before bursting into tears herself. Then it came to the Living Twin's turn.

  “I'm glad you put a crowbar into her skull.” she said through her tears, “She saved me. She got eaten and I didn't. I'm not going to forget that, never. I'm going to keep on living for her, because she gave hers for me!”

  January 6th Year 1 A.Z.

  dawn

  Junior came knocking this morning to see if I wanted to go on patrol with him again. I really didn't, but I doubt anyone wanted to do much of anything after yesterday's events. So I told him to wait downstairs for me. I wanted to make sure Apocalypse Girl was going to be alright. She told me she would be, of course, and that she would make sure to keep The Twin company. I grabbed The Bommyknocker and headed out to face the apocalypse.

  The morning air was gloomy. It seemed less like summer already, and not even a week into January yet. I jumped upon hearing an unusual sound, then felt like a total dickhead when I realised sheep bleat. Have to get used to these new sounds now. Junior was waiting just outside the barn for me, club in hand, talking with Archer. He held a pair of bows, fresh made especially for us, with a score of arrows each. We thanked him, he left to make more, and we began our patrol in silence.

  noon

  After a relatively uneventful patrol we decided to revisit the clay pits, see if we could clean it up a little bit. At least retrieve Dead Twin's body. When we got there we discovered that we were not the only ones with that plan. The Twin, Apocalypse Girl and Kindly Lady were already burning a large pile of Dead corpses. The stench was appalling. Dead Twin they had buried a short distance away, in an area that had been marked off as a graveyard, her resting place marked with no more than a wooden cross.

  I asked if burning them was a good idea. Kindly Lady pointed out that it was better than having them rotting away close enough to where plenty of us will be working. I nodded, but I said that I think burning them might be a bad idea in the long run. Apocalypse Girl just looked thoughtful, The Twin nodding in agreement with me. Kindly Lady allowed that I might indeed have a good point, but that it was too late right now. In future we would have to come up with another solution. She also told me that we needed guards if we were to successfully harvest any clay from this river. I nodded, and left without saying another word, Junior silently following. We decided upon another lap of the perimeter fence before heading back to the barn.

  evening

  Archer had set up a practice range behind the barn by the time we returned, and was teaching a pair of younger hippies how to use their bows. Junior and I decided to join them, as I had not fired a bow in at least twenty years, and wanted to familiarise myself with my new weapon. By which I mean play with my new toy, of course. Archer, it turned out, was a fine bowyer. I only lost seven of my arrows, Junior losing twelve of his twenty. Most of the rest found their way to the target Archer had placed at the far end of the range. Archer said he'd look for the lost shafts in the morning, as Junior and I gathered the ones that had found purchase.

  The barn door opened as we approached, Kindly Lady stepping out to tell us that dinner was nearly ready. We all entered, the smell of food heavy in the air. We sat around the common room discussing the day's events with each other. Apocalypse Girl told me that when she had gone out with Kindly Lady and The Twin they had taken a pair of guards with them, but those guards, after having quiet words with Kindly Lady, had gone over the other side of the river a few minutes before Junior and I had arrived. The Twin was in no state to notice, she told me, but Apocalypse Girl certainly had. Fat Dealer had taken the Ute out in the morning and was not back yet, but she assumed that he was after information, or maybe supplies.

  Sitting in our usual circle, I noticed indeed that several regular faces were indeed not present, including Fat Dealer. Idly I wondered if that meant no dessert joint tonight? Then I was far too busy eating to be concerned with such paltry mortal concerns. After our meal, a stew that, had it been any more hearty, would have gotten up and eaten us, Kindly Lady stood and made a gesture for silence.

  “Usually, after dinner our only dessert is whatever has been rolled up to be smoked. But, usually we don't have easy access to things like milk and butter. Turns out with a few cows, that is a bit easier.” The Twin then came out from the kitchen area with a massive cake, steaming still, and Kindly Lady carved off large hunks for each of us. As I bit into my own piece I tasted the distinctive flavour of weed.

  The musicians then struck up a tune and we all relaxed. It wasn't long before Apocalypse Girl and I, pissing ourselves laughing, practically fell up the stairs and into our room.

  January 7th Year 1 A.Z.

  dawn

  This morning started off normally enough, well normal now, not normal back then, if you get my drift. Patrol with Junior after a quick breakfast, followed by archery practice before lunch. That was the plan, at least. The thing about plans is, they fuck up, and this was no exception. Typically enough, this fuckup, like the previous two, happened at the riverside clay pits, where, by the time Junior and I arrived, four guards were guarding four clay-gatherers, including The Twin and Apocalypse Girl. Think I just decided all of this is her fault, goddamn Apocalypse Girl, ever since meeting her shit has just gone downhill. First the world ending, then the whole chemist incident with Valet, the failed attempt at clay-gathering resulting in the death of a Twin...

  But no, it isn't fair to blame Apocalypse Girl, not even in jest and in writing, even in a personal diary. To be honest I would be long dead if not for her. She has saved my life on several occasions already. So thank you Apocalypse Girl. Appreciate it. Even with the world gone to shit as it has done, it is still better to be alive than roaming around Dead. So, if you a
re ever reading this, Apocalypse Girl...just thanks...and if I'm gone when you do, if you do...I hope I met it as well as you would no doubt have done.

  Anyway. Enough maudlin crap. The Twin, Apocalypse Girl, two other younger hippies with no idea how to fire an arrow digging out clay, piling it up in a pair of wheelbarrows under the watchful eyes of four young hippy men with bows. Junior and I arrived just in time for the furthest one out to shriek in surprise and agony, because all four of the fucking idiots were busy watching the girls instead of watching for the Dead! The other three, to their slight credit, immediately jumped into action, rushing to where their fourth was still screaming. Junior and I bolted to intercept them.