Anno Zombus Year 1 (Book 4): April Read online

  evening

  It felt almost like old times, on the road in The Nightmare, with the sole exception of the military uniforms we were now forced to wear. Redbeard had brought along some of Viking's grog, so that we at least had something to keep us a little warmer than simply keeping close to one another, though we were careful to avoid getting too drunk, of course.

  Apocalypse Girl asked me, at one point, why exactly we were going to try to stop this horde from advancing on the army. I told her that, military or not, they were still Living humans. Their leader might be completely fucked in the head, but we couldn't just let all of them die, not like that. She nodded, saying that she understood, she just wished we were somewhere safe, rather than once again standing between disproportionate numbers of Living and Dead.

  Asking her how certain of her pregnancy she was proved to be a bad idea, resulting in a kicked shin and a glare that could have slain the entire horde bearing down on us, as well as a brief explanation that she had never been with anybody without protection before me, and that her period had not arrived since early March whereas before they had always arrived like clockwork. She was still not certain exactly, but she was pretty fucking sure about it. If we were back at The School, she told me, she would have had Doctor confirm her suspicions, but after having heard what General Fuckwit was hoping to discover, she was loathe to mention anything to any of the medics left alive back at HQ. That I could understand.

  April 4 Year 1 A.Z.

  morning

  We had not received much in the way of reinforcements, just two more patrols with a couple of jeeps with mounted heavy machine guns. When The Colonel had called in the numbers of Dead she hadn't been entirely believed, but when the horde appeared on the horizon our backup immediately requested more, only to be told that all available troops were holding position due to an unexpected increase in hostile Dead around the southern barricade. I recognised the voice of General Fuckwit as easily as any of them. He was not only making up excuses as to why he was going to get us all killed, he was also claiming that we were the ones responsible for the 'unexpected increase' as the southern barricade had been our patrol duty yesterday.

  We set up a series of barricades along the roadway leading up to us, just to slow the already slow Dead up a little more. Anything that allowed us to put a few more of them down before they overran us...

  Apocalypse Girl faced The Nightmare's behind to the oncoming group of Dead, leaving the rear cannon facing them, the main turret easily able to swivel around to cut them down as soon as they stepped into range.

  noon

  Firecracker and Redbeard had left the confines of The Nightmare so that they could get a better bead on the incoming Dead, Sister had already taken the rear gun, The Colonel was on the main turret, and I stood next to her on the roof, assault rifle at the ready. Apocalypse Girl remained in the cabin in case we needed to beat a hasty retreat.

  The Dead were finally in range, but at The Colonel's insistence we waited for her order to fire. Once it came we began to unleash a barrage of gunfire that mowed the first few ranks down, turning the leading line of the Dead into a dark red mist. Naturally this did nothing to deter the Dead, and they kept on coming. We mowed down more of them. They still kept coming.

  Before much longer they were at the first barricade, and those of us with assault rifles opened up on them. I emptied my first clip before they made the second barricade, reloaded as quick as I could, and began firing anew. Several of our reinforcements began lobbing grenades into the oncoming mob of Dead, blasting away large chunks that were swiftly filled once again by more hungry Dead. Despite the carnage we were perpetrating upon them, they soon overtook the third barricade. Two more and we would have to make a run for it. I ducked my head inside to tell Apocalypse Girl to get the engine running.

  She saw me, smiled, and pointed towards Canberra. I looked up to see another trio of jeeps driving up, unloading more soldiers, one of them running to the door of The Nightmare. I opened it to be told that General Practical had at least been there to hear our request for help, and knowing that there was nothing on the southern edge at all had sent what backup he could.

  The extra guns and manpower proved all that was necessary to halt the forward momentum of the horde approaching us, and after what seemed like a couple of thousand years of sustained gunfire the Dead lay still, dead, in the road before us. They hadn't even made the fourth of five barricades.

  evening

  We drove back into camp amidst thunderous applause. The Colonel jumped out of the cabin of The Nightmare, and I followed with Apocalypse Girl close on my own heels. We went straight into the command tent, The Colonel immediately demanding to see whatever intel they had suggesting that the south had not been properly cleared. General Practical stood, saluting us, then told her that there was no such intel. Her mouth agape, General Practical told us that it had been a ploy, as had our initial patrol duty, to get rid of a potential threat to General Fuckwit's authority.

  Our commander-in-idiocy was nowhere to be found, which was probably a good thing, as The Colonel looked ready to put a few rounds into him just on general principles. General Practical told us that as soon as Fuckwit had ordered no backup for us, he had asked for volunteers for what was going to almost certainly be a suicide mission. He had received quite a few more volunteers than he had jeeps to spare for the mission, however, otherwise we might have not needed to fire a single shot ourselves. The fact that we had returned, yet again unscathed, with not even a single drop of blood from Living or Dead marring The Nightmare's paint-job elevated our already near-legendary status to maybe a step or two just below Demi-godhood.

  As we walked back to our tent, cheers erupted once again from the troopers. I hadn't had my hand shaken this many times in my life, nor had I had my back slapped in celebration so often. By the time we made it back to our tent my back felt as though it had been pummelled by a hundred million people a hundred million times each. It then occurred to me that, if we were lucky enough as a species, there might actually be about a hundred million people left alive on the planet at this moment.

  Then I thought on The Followers, and the planned invasion of Melbourne, and I realised that in reality, the number was in all probability much lower than that, and would no doubt diminish further before long.

  Perhaps we were not that lucky after all.

  April 5 Year 1 A.Z.

  morning

  We are officially moving out today. Generals Fuckwit and Practical had already declared a meeting of all the officers, meaning that we had to hear all about it second hand from The Colonel. When she was done ranting about what an idiot some generals could be, she told us that we were to head to the south with a small force and try to make the Mech-Techs surrender, after which we were authorised to make overtures to The Followers. General Fuckwit is assuming that the sight of The Nightmare bearing down on them will make them shit themselves in fear. The Colonel told us she had tried to tell him that as they gave us The Nightmare in the first place they were unlikely to find it fearsome, but he refused to hear even a word of it.

  The main bulk of our forces was going to be following a day or two behind us, but there was every chance that they would overtake us along the road anyway, as we were going the more direct route, and there were bound to be more Dead and traffic obstructions this way than along the coastal roads we had travelled to get to Canberra. Also there were bound to be more potential resupply points, as General Fuckwit referred to them. What he meant was abandoned towns, possibly still full of food and fuel depending on how much warning they had before they evacuated, or were eaten.

  noon

  Back aboard The Nightmare, we began to move. There were several other vehicles accompanying us, a couple of jeeps, several troop transports, basically enough firepower to ensure that we made it back to Melbourne relatively unharmed. Apocalypse Girl gunned the engine to life, and we navigated the long, tedious way out from the heavily fortified encampment.


  Once we were free, on the open road, Apocalypse Girl pulled The Nightmare over to the shoulder of the road. She looked into my eyes and asked me “What the fuck are we going to do now?” Our escort had halted alongside us, assuming we had stopped for a meal-break, and set up a brief camp while I tried to think.

  A knock came at the side door of the combi-attachment, and Redbeard slid it open to reveal a young soldier that had been a part of the patrol that had slaughtered the Dead using our 'new' tactics the other day, one of those that had come to our rescue against the seemingly unending horde that had come from the direction of Sydney. He held forth a small baggie of a green combustible substance that I had not thought to see again, at least not in this lifetime.

  The soldiers shared the last of their weed with us, and we shared the last of Viking's homebrew with them. It was not exactly a party, but we celebrated temporary freedom from the insanity that General Fuckwit was spreading throughout the camp.

  An hour and a half later, we hit the road again, with a lovely glow warming us that we hadn't expected, and a declaration of friendship from the troops following us. The Colonel had given a rousing speech after lunch, telling them that their leadership left a lot to be desired, saying that The Mech-Techs were our friends, that The Followers were the enemy, and that General Fuckwit was … well, a fuckwit.

  evening

  Apocalypse Girl's phone jangled, The Smart Couple asking if we had seen any sign of The Kid. They needed at the very least a tissue sample from him in order to study the Dead infection in more detail, but considering the delay caused by forced conscription into the army, we had not the time to go off searching for somebody that might be dead, Dead or at the very least might not have any memories of being a Living human. I punched in a reply telling them that we had experienced a major delay, and we would get back to them about it when we could.

  We travelled for an hour past full darkness, the spotlights on top of The Nightmare allowing us to see the road ahead, though not in much detail, and when we stopped for the night, the young soldier came knocking once more. He apologised for not having anything with him to share, but asked if there was anything we needed, his eyes finding their way to where Sister sat far more often than any of the rest of us. The Colonel told him no, sending him on his way, and we prepared for sleep.

  April 6 Year 1 A.Z.

  morning

  Apocalypse Girl snored away contentedly as The Colonel drove us down the road once more heading towards Melbourne. We drove straight through the first two towns we saw, the second one of which had been completely gutted by flames, clearly a while ago now. The first one had been quite obviously ransacked already, all the doors flung wide where they were still attached to their hinges.

  The third town, however, was boarded up to buggery and back again, with nothing but a dozen or so Dead wandering around the snow-shrouded streets. The Colonel ordered a halt, and before the engines had been turned off I was out in the snow, swinging away with my katana. Half of the Dead were dead by the time I registered Apocalypse Girl's presence beside me, and the rest followed in short order.

  The soldiers worked with military precision to enter and secure each house in turn before returning to report that they were all empty. Apart from one, which was clearly where everybody had holed up, that was, every building was clear. The last house explored was next to the town church, which was also boarded up heavily. The Colonel told us, when one of the troops wondered why board up when you're running away, that they had planned on returning, and had boarded up only to preserve their possessions.

  We were going to leave well enough, and the church, alone when Sister heard a scratching sound from within, and the soldier who had been eyeing her off kicked the double doors in, turning around to proudly show off as several rotting arms reached out from within to drag him into the dark depths. Blood sprayed onto the doors as the young trooper died, screaming.

  “HOLD STILL!” The Colonel shouted as many of the rest of them were about to charge inside to avenge their comrade. “Let them come to us...”

  Minutes later the Dead were dead, the young soldier had risen and was put back down and The Colonel ordered a few grunts into the church to make sure there was nothing we missed. They came out with the news that there was nothing inside worth staying here for, just a lot of dried blood everywhere. The general consensus was that the residents of this town had holed up in the church either hoping for the intervention of some mythical deity, or just that the Dead would go away. Clearly, however, they had not been screening everybody for bite marks, or else somebody had simply died inside. Either way, the end result had been swift and certain. And messy.

  noon

  We continued on our way, stopping a few times to clear traffic obstructions off of the road, and again to eat. Sister was a little upset by what had happened at the church, but was not in the mood to talk about it. The Colonel was also upset, and for a similar reason, though she was quite vocal in her accusations that General Fuckwit hadn't been adequately preparing his soldiers for the dangers present in post-apocalyptic Australia.

  At one point, clearing away burned out vehicles, Apocalypse Girl noticed something and called me over to see. She had found the tracks of a kangaroo in the snow, but either this roo was a freakishly well-endowed male, or else the thing had grown a secondary tail. Either thought disturbed the living fuck out of me, to be honest. We decided to keep it between the two of us, at least for now. The rest of The Nightmare's crew had already seen the cows on the road, and the thing at the bottom of the cliff, on the road to Canberra, they didn't need to know about this one. Yet.

  evening

  The CB was crackling with the noise of Viking trying to make contact with us, telling us that Nutter had dreamed about us coming back within the next week, bringing death with us, or worse. He naturally wanted to know what was up with that. We had heard about Nutter's dreams while staying with The Mech-Techs briefly, apparently the ones he bothered to tell people about almost always came true. This was something that had only manifested itself after the Dead began to rise, but Viking had learned early on to trust in the strange little man and his speech-impaired colleague, Stutter. It had been the pair of them that had created The Nightmare, not for The Mech-Techs, but for us, knowing that we would need it.

  The Colonel told him that we were on our way with orders to take out his group. He didn't like that very much, as the loudly exploding expletives emanating from our radio testified. Once he had calmed himself somewhat, The Colonel explained the situation. Viking responded by telling us that he had been having a lot of trouble with The Followers lately, apparently they had ambushed one of Viking's patrols, killing the men and taking the three women for their own twisted desires. His men had caught up to The Followers, but by then the women had already made short work of several of them, forcing them to kill them before they could have any fun. Cyclops, who had been tracking The Followers, had finished off the rest of them painfully.

  In any event, both groups had been in constant conflict ever since. The Colonel mentioned that it was a good thing that we weren't relaying this to those in charge, because they would no doubt order us to simply slaughter everyone in sight. I asked Viking if he had heard anything from The School since we left, he told us that he was in contact with them constantly since The Followers brazen attack, and they had also experienced more trouble with them. Those of our companions that had chosen to stay behind had been instrumental in defending them, The Twin in particular outshining herself by leading patrols to rescue captured women.

  Losses from both groups meant that they were seriously considering consolidating their forces, however, and with the news that we were heading towards them with a fucking army Viking was about to abandon his warehouses already. The Colonel, brow furrowed in deep concentration, told him to hold his position, and if possible, find out where exactly the main force of The Followers were camped. He told us that he would do this, and that he would get back to us tomorrow
night with the info.

  The six of us, the crew of The Nightmare, were prepared to do whatever it took to help out our friends. The Colonel was wondering, as were we all, just how far we could push those out there, the soldiers sent along with us by General Fuckwit. They were all good men, of this we were all sure, but if they weren't willing to stand with us we would probably have to kill them all.

  April 7 Year 1 A.Z.

  morning

  The Colonel has chosen today to speak to the troops. Apocalypse Girl was in the mounted turret, I was standing beside The Colonel in front of The Nightmare as she presented her side of the story to the men. It was a tense situation from the very beginning, because it seemed that somehow General Practical had committed treason and been executed by firing squad first thing this morning. The radio operator had not been clear on exactly what had happened, apparently nobody was. The two generals had been in their shared office, and the elder had ordered the younger arrested and shot, that was all anybody knew.

  After that, The Colonel had taken a deep breath, stood up and addressed the men. She told them of her own command that had been overrun by a horde of Dead that had been following our group, how she had come to trust us in that time, and told of the other groups that we had encountered. She told of The Abbot and Biker, and of The Family and the generosity that had led a once kind-hearted old lady to insanity and murder. She told them of the trio of men that she had executed because they had been cooking and eating the Dead.